It's Still there

I've still not stopped thinking about young and strapping lad. I keep hoping that he'll change his mind and send me a text. I know that I could probably text him and convince him, but I am not going to do that. This feeling that I have is so desperate and feels so awful. Poor husband. I've completely detached from him and he feels that he has to woo me back and doesn't know how to do that. So he's feeling desperate too. Clearly I'm not in love with young and strapping lad. But I feel like I am. Which is silly. When I called him, he had this voicemail message which was very much like the kind of message some young stud would have. "Yo whattup-- it's ***** you know whatta do! PEACE!" And as I said, I don't even remember what he looks like. But the feelings! Oh the feelings! And the desperation! Oh the desperation. I feel like a teenager. I was reminded of being 19 and once making out with this guy that I made out with in a club and then stalking him for months and trying to find him and find out as much information as I could about him. But I never found him again. I did the same thing with young and strapping last night. I didn't even know his last name. But last night, I used the power of the internet and 9.95 to find it out so I could sleuth a little more. Sleuthing was fruitless. I think that me and husband are more alike than I am willing to admit. He would find girls (without pictures!) on adult friend finder and stalk them all over the internet. Stalk them on 43 things! See if he could find them, but not try to talk to them, just see what he could find out. His fantasies were of a sexual nature, mine are of a romantic nature. It is easier when I observe than when I follow the feelings. Following them is devastating. It pulls me into this wretched place. I think he's leaving at the end of the week. I keep having the desire to text him and tell him I'm going to drive him to the airport. Just because I want to see him again. But again, I'm going to do my best to let it all pass. Oh us. Oh, me and husband. We are really such a pair.