PTSD

I think I have PTSD. I've not been sleeping, I'm having nightmares most nights, and I'm having flashbacks to the night I caught husband and that girls face is etched in my brain. I'm having flashbacks to the cybersex that he had. I'm having fantasies of catching him in the act, at a hotel or someones house of a girl he met on Craigslist Casual Encounters, or Adult friend Finder. It makes my heart beat uncontrollably and makes me sweat. It happened this evening while I was working with a patient. Oh yeah, I'm a shrink. My countertransference needs to be kept in check especially for those who are having an affair. Tonight will be an ambien night. Husband is the holder of the ambien. I don't trust myself around it right now. I'd take it every night if it were accessible. But for now, it's just for the nights that I'm really amped up. I keep picturing him telling the woman he was having cybersex with to do certain vile acts on herself. it makes me sick. So it goes.