Don't tell me how uncomfortable I look. I'm not. I'm fine.
Don't tell me that I'm really fucking pregnant. Unless you're my OB.
Don't tell me that I've dropped. Because I haven't.
Don't tell me that it looks like I have twins in there.
Don't tell me that it's obvious that this is my last kid and I won't let my husband near me ever again. This is my first kid and we tried for him for years and I can't wait to screw my husband again. In fact, I think about fucking him constantly.
Don't tell me that I don't look pregnant from behind. Wait, you can tell me that, it's okay.
Don't tell me that I'm having a boy, you can tell. lucky guess.
Don't tell me that I'm walking too slow. Fuck you. I'm 9 months pregnant.
Don't tell me that I look like I'm ready to pop. You look like you're ready to pop.
Don't tell me that I look exhausted. I haven't worked for almost 3 weeks. I'm a gay lady of leisure.
Don't tell me that you bet I can't wait for that baby to be out. I have too much shit to do around my house, he can stay put.
You don't know me! You're just walking down the street next to me, or my waiter, or online behind me at Whole Foods. Screw you. Leave me alone!
I once worked for this cow...and her icky hubbie, would say things to me like...
ReplyDelete"hey... did you roll through the door today? hehehe"
i don't know why pregger women are considered "open season" I have to admit, I've made some of those comments myself... well, the only one, actually is guessing the sex, nothing about the mother personally, except for two possibilities. She looks unbelievably small for whatever month she was...(i was the one who everyone said it must've been TWINS-- no just a ginormous baby who's 6'3" now!) and two, that she has the most radiant glow that only an expectant mother can have.
As you may know... i'm an interior decorator. All of my clients (between 27-43) get pregnant. Even IF they have been trying for years and years and even if they had given up or had trouble the last time. As soon as they start decorating their home.
BOOM.
maybe a little side biz? ;)
Honey--- I wish you all the best... and just remember, my two boys were 11 and 12 days late-- respectively.
I wanted to kill somebody.
anybody.
xo ~ L
The best is when they think it's okay to touch you...rub your belly like they know you or something - get your damn hands off of me!!
ReplyDeleteHugs!
L
BTW - Are we ALL "L"????? =)
Ha! We might all be L, how funny. I haven't had tons of the belly rubbing, thank goodness, but the looks and the comments are often.
ReplyDelete