I guess I'm still Angry at the World

Oh Life. Why are you so confusing? I think that the Y&S thing is finally beginning to fade. But with it, my feelings for husband have still not returned. It was like Y&S was some giant vacuum that sucked away my feelings for husband. No lust, no passion, no anger, no love. Just attachment. I want to go out without him and make out with boys. I have no desire to be around him these days. My drinking is so out of control too. No, not out of control in that out of control way. But out of control in that, I'll say I'm not going to drink that day, but still have a glass of wine. I drank 3 days in the last week. One day I drank something like 3 glasses of wine. And today I've decided not to drink. But instead I'm lusting after sugar. I am craving chocolate and peanut butter and Heath bars and sex bars. I had a dream last night that me and husband were in Hawaii and he had gone several months before without me. He said to surf, but he admitted in the dream that it was to have sex with "Hawaiian Honeys." I woke up very aroused from the dream because I got angry again. I tried to have sex with Husband but he was fast asleep. We've not had sex in almost 3 weeks actually. I've been disinterested. I've been still fantasizing about sex with Y&S. But I've not contacted him and he hasn't contacted me. What a silly little thing. I've been talking to husband about it and about how it's all old attachment stuff. He feels confused and sad and cries a lot. I'm still mad at him.